Book of Wishes

Pescadero Beach on a smoke-cast day 2020

In my life I love what I have most of the time, but from time to time I wish for the dreams that are big, for me and my wife.

I dream of us having security, and experiences that we never got a chance to do like travel outside of our country. I dream of us not having to worry about being too far in debt and running out of money each pay check. I dream of us one day retiring, perhaps early, perhaps out of lucky fortune from God’s blessings, and taking the newfound freedom to do what we want instead of both working. I dream of us helping others more than we do, and helping our families, our friends, our needy communities.

I dream of my family being close to Christ the way I sometimes am, and of being more perfect in my own choices and devotions. I dream of never having regrets and of being in the moment, this precious perfect moment, and making it last and be the only thing I’m aware of, that closeness to Christ.

I dream of not having to worry about breathing and being out of breath. I dream of having energy to do the things I want to do, and of having the time to do them without the distractions that constantly interrupt and advertise on our lives.

I dream of surrounding myself with people that love life and are positive. I dream of finding a party that we enjoy and get that elation without having to include any alcohol. I dream of being in environments free of odors and free of cuss words and free of negative energy and vibes.

I dream of being able to communicate the experiences that I wish for most in this world, and visualize them to live in them, like a mental topography map that I scan in and print out and then immerse myself in the joy and planning of until I know clearly what I really intend for the life before time runs out on me through this already mostly over lifespan.

I dream of having a life map calendar, set out retroactively, in which I have long term and great goals which I can avoid the pitfalls that I fell into and in which I can make best use of every living moment that a human life can hold.

I know that all this is just speculation and that what is, and has been, has no reverse motion in time. I know whatever the future holds is in God’s hands and that we might very well not hold control over aside from praying and the small decisions we make from day to day to intend to do our best for ourselves and others. I know all along the way that I did intend well, and that any mistakes were honestly intended for the best. I know what I must do is trust in God and feel the gratitude He so wholeheartedly deserves for His creating us, for our very existence and the gift of life which we are still living and using. And to make the best use of the gifts He gave to serve Him to love each other fully the way Christ sacrificed for us.

I know that I will keep dreaming no matter what the uncertain future may hold. And I know that we are just a microscopic part of something bigger.

#ToDreamers