The Art of Remembering
Many things are important simply because they made us who we are.
The memories we are aware of in a moment are just that — part of the current moment being lived over again with the present, brought up by the little senses or ideas, thoughts or words, that inspire it to be lived again.
We must choose the good memories to relive, if we are to make our lives good. To learn from the mistakes has already been done, and we likely will remember the regrets when the times come to make better decisions this time around, but only useful when those triggers are urgent and not just worries about our existence and future.
To plan is something I’ve often been failing at — I don’t complete that many long term challenges, just things that come easy for me that I found passion for — though that is probably true for most. I however don’t even dream about the future and plan it out — that is why I think it’s such a big deal. If I start to dream big like I did once, and get rejected by the universe, it is perhaps a make or break deal if I haven’t learned the faith and confidence in God and His holy spirit in me that I need to find any worthwhile peace and happiness.
Conversation brings up childhood memories. We find joy in remembering the small distant things and challenges, the cuteness of them. We love the way we were different in the past, in a refreshing way. We love learning the mysterious depths of the ones we want to get to know. We ache for knowledge the same way we feel drawn to mystery. We need to know security, and yet we need to know that the future is ours to have free will. To have faith is to find that balance within, that meditative silence of the heart that lets the universe, with God’s presence, fill us with the natural state of being. We love. Love.
Too many times in the past I have caught up myself in fear, to let it take over my life in this time of near post-apocalyptic global change. Too long have I suffered from my own doubts, my own misgiven insecurities. Too much alone time to have in memory, to have any loss of value in the moments with my loved ones in cherishing them to the fullest. The world is not on my shoulders — it never really was. The lost time in making the life I would have wanted to live, in this middle age near crisis, is not to be lost but to be a starting point to give me reason to be and to be precious — something that gives it a reason to have been so and in His plan. It is part of what was, which is irrelevant to the living fully in passionate breath of this joy called the moment given to us.
We are stewards of life, though we forget often. We often think of what we want and “need” to be suffered for. That is the sin of entitlement. What we really need to be happy is not for things to go right. What we need is to trust that God has our back in the more important things like our soul and the direction it is taking us in this journey, this process, in what is beyond our limited perceptions the best of all possible worlds. The one He created us for is the one He has control over. We can’t be happy trying to control our destiny. We can only be happy by faith that His control is perfect. Dream big in the sense that the dream of life is infinite, and we are infinitesimal. When we serve God we find a way to be beyond what we ourselves are.
That is the way to get through this. It always has been like that. Love. Peace.